«It’s a funny thing, but once your kid starts school, us moms kind of feel like it’s our first day, too. We may experience similar nerves in the drop-off line, hoping not to run into that one matriarch who insists on scheduling play dates every week, or the one who tries to rope us into a PTA meeting that afternoon. As moms, our level of school involvement differs—some of us prefer to fly under the radar, while others see their kid’s school as an extension of their own social lives. Every school (public, private, big, or small) has at least one of the stereotyped moms we’ve depicted below. Take a look—you may find yourself in some of the descriptions.
The PTA Mom- You’ve probably already met her, because she’s in charge of anything and everything school related, making her impossible to miss. She means seriously business and takes pride in organizing school parties, field trips, fundraisers, and meetings. It’s an important job and somebody’s got to do it, so we certainly appreciate her, but we may feel intimidated all the same. She delegates who brings what, where, and when, and will fill up your email inbox with daily reminders and requests. Oh, and don’t even think about missing a PTA meeting without taking it up with her first!
The Know-It-All Mom- This mom usually means well, but she has a little too much pride in her “facts”. She is the one who provides all the wonderful unsolicited advice that we love to receive, and the first person to speak up if she finds out your kid hasn’t received his or her flu shot yet. This mom seems to pop up wherever the drama is, and can certainly be obnoxious with her all-knowing demeanor.
The Mean Girl Mom- This is the mom who transports you right back to high school. She’s the one who holds her nose up high, stares you up and down every time she sees you, and for some reason can never remember your name. She may be living vicariously through her child (cue Regina George’s mom in ‘Mean Girls’), not dressing her age, or simply being the snotty one we can’t help but want to avoid. She is most likely wrapped up in her own insecurities to show kindness to other women, so we would suggest wishing her well, but not going out of your way to befriend her. Who knows—she could just need some time to warm up and a little “kill her with kindness” goes a long way.
The Corporate Mom- You may not even recognize this mom when you see her because she’s busy juggling so many conference calls, meetings, and deadlines, that she’s quickly in and out. She’s sharply-dressed, has a coffee in one hand and a cell phone in the other, and is always in a hurry to get back to work.
The Athleisure Mom- You can spot this mom from a mile away. She’s dressed in head-to-toe Lululemon, and appears to be just coming from spin class or the gym. She can most likely be seen carrying a fresh green juice, or constantly sipping from her Nalgene water bottle. All we can say is, she’s either crazy-addicted to working out or wants everyone to think so. In any case—she’s comfortable in her own skin and we can’t help but be a little envious of her daily wardrobe.
The Church Mom- This is the mom who asks you if you were at Sunday service, and is not afraid to push her beliefs on you and your kid. She may openly let you know she’s praying for you, whether you asked her to or not. She’s very sweet and warm, but if you don’t share her same beliefs, a close friendship may not be in the cards.
The Minivan Mom- She’s got 6 kids and counting, and each and every one of them has a different extracurricular activity. She is always on time and attends every school function. She always has a smile on her face, appears in control, and shows no signs of stress. You don’t know how she does it, but she does, and we wouldn’t mind a lesson in keeping it all together.
The New Mom- Sweet, inviting, and stylish—this mom just moved to town and she’s always inquiring about mom groups, get-togethers, and play dates with her kids. She drives the wrong way in the pick-up line, shows up late to functions from getting lost, and clearly just needs a helping hand.
The Pajama Mom- This mom clearly has a “doesn’t give a sh*t attitude” and we love her for it! She can usually be spotted in an old t-shirt, her husband’s pj pants, flip flops, and a messy bun at every drop-off and soccer game. But don’t let her laid-back style fool you, she’s a diligent work-at-home mom who’s just really confident in herself. Get it, mama.
The Cool Mom- You thought you were hip before you met her, but somehow this mom always finds a way to one-up you. Her children wear the trendiest clothes and accessories, have the latest and greatest Xbox system, and all the other school kids want to play at their house. She probably has a pantry full of the best junk food, so expect your kid to come home from her house on a sugar high. This is the one you may fear once your kids reach high school, because she’s “not like a regular mom, she’s a cool mom”, and might be one of the gang rather than a trusting authority figure.
The Gossip Mom- Beware of this schoolyard big mouth. Anything and everything you say to her might as well be broadcasted over the school’s intercom. She most likely has too much time on her hands, and is therefore jumping at any opportunity to stir the pot. As moms, we are all protective over our kids, so remember that this one is not to be trusted and most likely doesn’t have your (or your kid’s) best interest in mind.
The Martha Stewart Mom- This mom is good at pretty much everything and is usually best friends with the PTA mom. Why? Because she bakes, makes, and crafts just about everything for each school function. Blueberry muffins? Check. Drama class props? Check. Her teenage daughter’s prom dress? Check. Is there nothing this woman cannot do?
The Granola Mom- This mom sends her little one to school with fresh, organic, vegan, gluten-free, non-GMO filled lunch boxes everyday and smells of patchouli and lavender essential oils. She’s soft spoken, au naturel, very kind, and has probably asked you about kombucha at least once.
The Dad Mom- We can’t leave out the very important and very involved dad. This dedicated father is either a single parent or pulling the weight for his hard-working wife. He’s at every drop-off, pick-up, meeting, and function, and still has time to play catch with his kids after school. And how he dresses like a GQ model, we’ll never know, but we applaud you, dad mom.»