- mãe, posso dormir na tua cama? posso?
- hum... podes.
- yessss! (abraça-se a mim) és a mãe mais melhor de todas.
sexta-feira, 28 de outubro de 2016
quinta-feira, 27 de outubro de 2016
ler
eu gosto de ler, gosto mesmo. e faço um esforço para ter sempre livros à mão para qualquer tempo livre que possa surgir.
o mais novo entretém-se muitas vezes sozinho, sentado no chão do quarto, a ir buscar livros e lê-los. têm duas prateleiras mesmo à mão e isso facilita o acesso.
às vezes pedem para lhes lermos uma história específica, como aconteceu neste dia da fotografia em cima. os rapazes encaixaram-se de maneira a ouviremos dois a história - a baleia, de benji davies.
ontem, como normalmente leio já na cama, antes de dormir, e estando o pai fora, resolvi experimentar ler com o joão. pedi-lhe para escolher um livro e deitamo-nos os dois na minha cama a ler, cada um o seu livro.
ele fez pergunta sobre a minha história e depois resolveu simular que estava a ler a sua história para a turma, como faz na escola. primeiro mostrou a capa. depois a cada página que 'lia' virava o livro para a suposta plateia para mostrar as imagens. e exigia que eu fizesse o mesmo com o meu livro. quando não sabia descrever o que via no livro, pedia ajuda: 'não sei ler isto muito bem, mãe' e, depois de analisarmos as imagens, repetia exactamente o que eu lia do livro.
às tantas perguntei a quem estava a contar a história e ele, depois de pensar um pouco enquanto observava o quarto, respondeu que estava a contar a história às fotografias.
e assim ficamos, uns dez minutos, a ler e a mostrar os nossos livros a uma plateia imaginária. soube mesmo bem partilhar isto com ele e perceber que sabe comunicar uma história.
se não ouvires, a vida passa a correr
muito poético o título mas é para não me esquecer que, de facto, isto acontece. no ram-ram do dia-a-dia, é tão fácil deixar-mos passar coisas importantes só porque eles nos estão a chamar pela 125.789 vez! e foi isso que aconteceu no outro dia.
estava na cozinha a preparar o jantar e a dar um jeito a tudo o que há sempre para fazer naquela altura do dia, quando oiço o mais novo a chamar por mim: 'mamã, mamã'. percebi que andava ali a rondar, como é costume a ver se lhe calha alguma comida e a voz continuava a chamar. às tantas liguei o mute e já era barulho de fundo.
quando voltei a olhar para ele, estava em cima do banco de apoio, apoiado na bancada e tinha descascado sozinho uma banana e estava a comê-la, com o ar mais triunfal do mundo.
e eu encolhi-me e pensei: 'caramba...'.
estava na cozinha a preparar o jantar e a dar um jeito a tudo o que há sempre para fazer naquela altura do dia, quando oiço o mais novo a chamar por mim: 'mamã, mamã'. percebi que andava ali a rondar, como é costume a ver se lhe calha alguma comida e a voz continuava a chamar. às tantas liguei o mute e já era barulho de fundo.
quando voltei a olhar para ele, estava em cima do banco de apoio, apoiado na bancada e tinha descascado sozinho uma banana e estava a comê-la, com o ar mais triunfal do mundo.
e eu encolhi-me e pensei: 'caramba...'.
quarta-feira, 12 de outubro de 2016
the best advice | o melhor conselho
no senda do terceiro filho, fica aqui mais este post sobre um assunto tão importante para mim.
«It was about this time, three years ago, that we started trying to get pregnant with Isla. Everett was around two years old and I, as a surprise to myself, was baby hungry like crazy. I found out I was pregnant on Christmas Day, and the following August, she arrived. I felt like their age spacing was SO PERFECT. I solidly stand by 2 years and 10 months as a perfectly ideal length of time to space one's children out and I would recommend it to anyone. Since we all know planning pregnancy down to the month is so controllable ...
Yet here we are again. My youngest is at that two year mark and because I've always known that we would have more than two, the timing of our third child has weighed heavily on my mind. We should. We should start trying. My problem has been that when I contemplate the newborn phase, I think, I JUST DID THAT. I just had a baby, I'm pretty sure yesterday. And the memory of my pants not fitting, is somehow more vivid than the first time around? And I'm also just not baby hungry. And maybe that's the whole thing right there. Isla's baby-hood still feels so completely present. Much more so than Everett's was. He was sleeping through the night, in his own bed at nine-months-old, whereas Isla co-sleeps with us and still adores nursing. I love that this part of her hasn't grown up yet. That I can watch her expand in personality and ability and intelligence, and somehow still keep her infant-like sense of newness around for myself. The lack of hair helps.
A few weeks ago, after giving myself a solid pep talk and a lecture on timing, I decided that I would get off birth control. I plopped myself on the bathroom counter while Tyson was in the shower and said, so what do you think? Should we? Now? Maybe? Yes?
If all of this was up to him, the man would've had another baby months ago, so my tentative suggestion was met with enthusiasm, and I thought, ok! Let's do it.
Then I called my mom on her birthday and told her that we were thinking about trying for another, because that's what mom's do on their birthdays: listen to you talk about yourself. I heard myself say baby and then add a million "buts" onto the end of my sentence.
But I'm not ready to share my body. But Isla's still nursing, and we're not totally done yet. But this means I'll have to get Isla out of our bed. But then I'll have to go back to not sleeping. But OMG three kids. Everyone says three is the hardest number to hurdle. But life is so nice now that Isla's starting to really embrace some independence.
And in the same train of thought say,
But Everett will be 6 by then so it won't be that crazy. And Isla is obsessed with babies, is generous with sharing me, and would handle the change like a champ. And I should just get the child bearing days over with so they can all grow up close. And this age gap! This age gap was perfect! They're best friends, and don't I want to give that gift to the next child? And also, what if it takes longer than we think it will to get pregnant.
(Yes, it does take me an hour to fall asleep at night)
And then my mom, having listened to my buts, and being the wise sage that she is, gave me the best piece of advice that I never would've given myself. She said, "Don't should on yourself."
Don't should on yourself!
And also it's ok to give it a year. Because what's a year, really, in the scheme of things. It's nothing. A year is nothing. To get rid of the shoulds and replace them with the I wants and the I'm readys.
It may sound so terribly obvious but it was like a blazing light bulb went off in my head. Taking away my self-imposed timeline, gave me instant grace to allow a baby to come to us, but through my heart first. If that meant a month from now, six months from now, a whole dang year from now, it wouldn't matter. I could start trying to get pregnant whenever I felt ready and it all would be completely
totally
fine.
Until then, it's just me and my two little buddies up there, both of whom I am so thoroughly enjoying at the moment. Two and almost five - most stinking delightful ages in the world.»
«It was about this time, three years ago, that we started trying to get pregnant with Isla. Everett was around two years old and I, as a surprise to myself, was baby hungry like crazy. I found out I was pregnant on Christmas Day, and the following August, she arrived. I felt like their age spacing was SO PERFECT. I solidly stand by 2 years and 10 months as a perfectly ideal length of time to space one's children out and I would recommend it to anyone. Since we all know planning pregnancy down to the month is so controllable ...
Yet here we are again. My youngest is at that two year mark and because I've always known that we would have more than two, the timing of our third child has weighed heavily on my mind. We should. We should start trying. My problem has been that when I contemplate the newborn phase, I think, I JUST DID THAT. I just had a baby, I'm pretty sure yesterday. And the memory of my pants not fitting, is somehow more vivid than the first time around? And I'm also just not baby hungry. And maybe that's the whole thing right there. Isla's baby-hood still feels so completely present. Much more so than Everett's was. He was sleeping through the night, in his own bed at nine-months-old, whereas Isla co-sleeps with us and still adores nursing. I love that this part of her hasn't grown up yet. That I can watch her expand in personality and ability and intelligence, and somehow still keep her infant-like sense of newness around for myself. The lack of hair helps.
A few weeks ago, after giving myself a solid pep talk and a lecture on timing, I decided that I would get off birth control. I plopped myself on the bathroom counter while Tyson was in the shower and said, so what do you think? Should we? Now? Maybe? Yes?
If all of this was up to him, the man would've had another baby months ago, so my tentative suggestion was met with enthusiasm, and I thought, ok! Let's do it.
Then I called my mom on her birthday and told her that we were thinking about trying for another, because that's what mom's do on their birthdays: listen to you talk about yourself. I heard myself say baby and then add a million "buts" onto the end of my sentence.
But I'm not ready to share my body. But Isla's still nursing, and we're not totally done yet. But this means I'll have to get Isla out of our bed. But then I'll have to go back to not sleeping. But OMG three kids. Everyone says three is the hardest number to hurdle. But life is so nice now that Isla's starting to really embrace some independence.
And in the same train of thought say,
But Everett will be 6 by then so it won't be that crazy. And Isla is obsessed with babies, is generous with sharing me, and would handle the change like a champ. And I should just get the child bearing days over with so they can all grow up close. And this age gap! This age gap was perfect! They're best friends, and don't I want to give that gift to the next child? And also, what if it takes longer than we think it will to get pregnant.
(Yes, it does take me an hour to fall asleep at night)
And then my mom, having listened to my buts, and being the wise sage that she is, gave me the best piece of advice that I never would've given myself. She said, "Don't should on yourself."
Don't should on yourself!
And also it's ok to give it a year. Because what's a year, really, in the scheme of things. It's nothing. A year is nothing. To get rid of the shoulds and replace them with the I wants and the I'm readys.
It may sound so terribly obvious but it was like a blazing light bulb went off in my head. Taking away my self-imposed timeline, gave me instant grace to allow a baby to come to us, but through my heart first. If that meant a month from now, six months from now, a whole dang year from now, it wouldn't matter. I could start trying to get pregnant whenever I felt ready and it all would be completely
totally
fine.
Until then, it's just me and my two little buddies up there, both of whom I am so thoroughly enjoying at the moment. Two and almost five - most stinking delightful ages in the world.»
terça-feira, 11 de outubro de 2016
convite
num destes dias a vera estava muito desconsolada a comer uma bolacha ao final da tarde, na escola. a educadora perguntou porquê e ela respondeu que o que lhe apetecia mesmo eram as panquecas do pai do joão.
foi desafiada a fazer um convite ao dito para ir novamente à escola fazer panquecas, até hoje uma das melhores participações familiares de que há memória naquela escola. e assim, a vera juntou-se à valentina e fizeram este convite adorável.
agora o pai vai-se organizar e preparar-se para mais uma sessão de panquecas.
segunda-feira, 10 de outubro de 2016
é por eles
esta fotografia de dia 3 de outubro marca uma nova fase da minha (nossa) vida.
estou em lisboa novamente e estou muito contente. de repente, tenho tempo e disponibilidade para toda uma nova vida, pessoal, familiar e tudo o resto que couber no meio.
há muito tempo que ansiava por esta mudança, já tinha imaginado e planeado tudo e agora, pouco mais de 6 meses depois, cá estou. com receio do que vem, se vou ou não gostar do trabalho, dos colegas. onde estava gostava de tudo menos do local físico em si e da falta de chefia. aqui não sei... é tudo novo. posso ter chefes maus (já sei o que isso é), colegas maus (não sei nem quero saber o que isso é), trabalho mau (já sei e há compensações). pelo menos estou perto, bem perto de casa e voltei à cidade.
confesso que tenho alguma nostalgia de deixar alguns colegas, mas sei que são amigos e que vão continuar a sê-lo e por isso mantém-se na minha vida.
neste dia decidi vesti-los de igual, parece a farda da escola mas não é. gosto de os ver assim, semelhantes mas diferentes. estão os dois tão grandes e crescidos, este final de verão levou os meus bebés e deixou-me dois rapazolas em casa. (vou parar o discurso para não entrar em modo lamechas)
como disse, é por eles que mudo. bora lá!
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